So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
