we're blogging at a bar
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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