He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
