nut hugger
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
