Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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