porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
