is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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