I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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