i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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