Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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