I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
