absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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