the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
