yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh god it's open bar.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
