I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize