i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
