when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
