Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
