Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
