Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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