Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
