kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
