yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
