so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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