I want to make a zoo with you.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
