I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
