I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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