You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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