Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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