absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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