who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
