"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
