Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
