i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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