Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
two words...techno handjob
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
