VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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