she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
