i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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