i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
