You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
