i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
