she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
