just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
