I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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