Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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