YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
