Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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