hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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