so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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