Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
