And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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